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Got it Edition CA NY • Lifestyle (https://nypost.com/lifestyle/) • Weird But True (https://nypost.com/weird-but-true/) • Health (https://nypost.com/health/) • Sex & Relationships (https://nypost.com/sex-and-relationships/) • Viral Trends (https://nypost.com/viral-trends/) • Human Interest (https://nypost.com/human-interest/) • Astrology (https://nypost.com/astrology/) • Parenting (https://nypost.com/parenting/) • Fashion & Beauty (https://nypost.com/fashion-and-beauty/) • Food & Drink (https://nypost.com/food-and-drink/) • Shopping (https://nypost.com/shopping/) • Travel (https://nypost.com/travel/) Search Search trending now in Lifestyle Skip to main content (https://nypost.com/2026/07/12/lifestyle/dear-abby-if-i-love-her-do-i-let-her-go/#content) Beloved ice cream franchise closing 46 locations nationwide —... (https://nypost.com/2026/07/11/lifestyle/beloved-ice-cream-franchise-closing-46-locations-nationwide/) Hordes of tourists seeking cheap travel are imprisoning villagers... 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(https://nypost.com/2026/07/09/lifestyle/delta-launches-cheaper-first-class-fares/) Dear Abby (https://nypost.com/author/dear-abby/)Lifestyle (https://nypost.com/lifestyle/) Dear Abby: If I love her, do I let her go? By Dear Abby (https://nypost.com/author/dear-abby/) Published July 12, 2026, 3:00 a.m. ET Comments See more of our coverage in your search results. Add The New York Post on Google (https://www.google.com/preferences/source?q=nypost.com) • *DEAR ABBY:** I am the single mom of a 19-year-old daughter who copes with bipolar 2, ADHD, anxiety and depression. She has a mental age that’s younger than her adult self. Over the years, she has gone through therapy and changes in medication. It has been recommended that my daughter attend a residential therapy program, but she refuses. Since finishing high school, she has refused everything: college classes, job applications, exploring other therapies or taking any small steps toward independence in the future. Her goals now center around socializing and smoking marijuana with a few friends. She rarely leaves her room except when they call. There are days I doubt she’s med compliant or wants the help others try to give. It’s heartbreaking watching her being “stuck,” but I am also tired of being held hostage to her behavior and actions. Many days, I want to pack up her stuff and tell myself she’ll figure things out. (I would continue to be here when she needs me.) Is this fair, given her mental health challenges? Because she is at risk, I feel like anything I do is wrong. — BURNED-OUT MOM IN COLORADO More From Dear Abby https://nypost.com/2026/07/11/lifestyle/dear-abby-i-married-an-older-man-at-20-years-old-now-i-wonder-if-i-missed-out-on-life/ Dear Abby: I married an older man at 20-years-old — now I wonder if I missed out on life (https://nypost.com/2026/07/11/lifestyle/dear-abby-i-married-an-older-man-at-20-years-old-now-i-wonder-if-i-missed-out-on-life/) https://nypost.com/2026/07/10/lifestyle/dear-abby-i-dont-want-to-burden-my-100-year-old-mom-with-my-serious-diagnosis/ Dear Abby: I don’t want to burden my 100-year-old mom with my serious diagnosis (https://nypost.com/2026/07/10/lifestyle/dear-abby-i-dont-want-to-burden-my-100-year-old-mom-with-my-serious-diagnosis/) https://nypost.com/2026/07/09/lifestyle/dear-abby-my-82-year-old-dad-wants-to-drive-2000-miles-alone-am-i-watching-a-disaster-unfold/ Dear Abby: My 82-year-old dad wants to drive 2,000 miles alone — am I watching a disaster unfold? (https://nypost.com/2026/07/09/lifestyle/dear-abby-my-82-year-old-dad-wants-to-drive-2000-miles-alone-am-i-watching-a-disaster-unfold/) • *DEAR MOM:** I know of few people who, if given the choice, wouldn’t like life to be a constant party. You may need the services of a licensed psychotherapist to decide what to do to help your daughter. It’s apparent to me that unless there are consequences for her unwillingness to help herself, nothing will change and she will continue floating on a cloud of cannabis in perpetuity. I suggest you make her continuing to live with you contingent upon her participation in the program that will help her gain some independence. If you need more guidance about this, contact NAMI – the National Alliance on Mental Illness. It’s the nation’s largest mental health organization, dedicated to building better lives for the millions of Americans affected by mental illness. You will find more information about it at nami.org. Is she wanting "life to be a constant party"? • *DEAR ABBY:** My mother died five years ago, and my stepfather passed away a month ago. Both were cremated with no service, no obituary and no celebration of life. My parents’ wish was to be placed together at their home. I asked my brother, stepsister and stepbrother if I could have a small amount of their ashes to place in a small urn or a piece of memorial jewelry. My stepbrother is fine with my request; the other two are appalled. I am the oldest, but my stepfather gave my brother power of attorney. I think this authority has gone to his head, as he tells us he is the boss. Was it wrong to request some of my parents’ ashes? — GRIEVING DAUGHTER • OFFICIAL STORE Happy Birthday, USA! Celebrate 250 years by owning a piece of America’s historic milestone. Grab our limited-edition birthday hat, puzzle, framed prints, and more today! New York Post may be compensated and/or receive an affiliate commission if you click or buy through our links. Featured pricing is subject to change. SHOP NOW SHOP NOW New York Post may be compensated and/or receive an affiliate commission if you click or buy through our links. Featured pricing is subject to change. https://shop.nypost.com/collections/america-turns-250/ • *DEAR GRIEVING DAUGHTER:** Please accept my condolences for the loss of your parents. Of course, your request was not wrong or even unusual. Families often divide a loved one’s ashes just as you described. If your brother continues to ignore your appeals as a grieving sibling, you must decide whether this is important enough to bring a lawyer into the discussion. Is this an unusual request? What do you think?Be the first to comment. (https://nypost.com/2026/07/12/lifestyle/dear-abby-if-i-love-her-do-i-let-her-go/#nypost-openweb-conversation) Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com (http://www.dearabby.com/) or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. 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